Fluff Issues: Shame — Tash Havos – Creative Producer, Writer, Strategist

self d e s t r u c t
harsh and abrupt
sharpness – it stings, it pins,
it pierces the heart.

shame of not knowing better, shame cos I do
shame cos it’s just a mask, not me you’re talking to
shame cos the male gaze distorts my own view
shame from inaction, lack of self satisfaction
shame cos you know it’s not you,
shame cos what can you do?

shame is in its manifestations,
humiliation lets me hide.
though no mask is opaque enough,
they see it all, especially in the light
shy, embarrassed, don’t look at me
cover me up (inside)

i’m unworthy, treat me as such,
i’m small, i don’t take up much
panic, retreat, shame, repeat,
i’ve pinned it all elsewhere, still, i live with me

i hear it's about the people you surround yourself with
the affirmations you say
how you deal with conflict
how you build, pave your own way

but i’m not sure, i’m still figuring that part out
all i know is that i’m running from myself
and the faster I go the more i miss
hmm, that blank, disassociated bliss

no, but the people, the places, my mind is doing the splits
whether i like it or not, i cannot dismiss
i cannot outrun my shadow
it’s a curse of a life and much more disgraceful

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